The loss of a child is something no one should ever have to experience. But it happens. Miscarriage happen to one in four women. Yet the subject is hush-hushed. People feel ashamed to admit their child died. And in ignoring the pain, you cant grieve properly. You shouldn’t be scared to talk about the loss of your child. Yes it makes some people uncomfortable to talk about. Because a child SHOULDN’T die. But it happens. I speak of my children all the time. I speak to them when the pain of them being gone is just too hard some days. They were still my children, and just because they passed away prematurely doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be talked about.  They are a big part of the person I have become and I thank them for it every day.

There are stages of grief. But not everyone grieves the same. I was stuck on anger for a very long time. I was angry at everyone. The doctors, my husband, family, society, and myself. I was angry that MY CHILDREN has to die. They did nothing wrong. Why should they be punished? It took me a long time to finally forgive those I was mad at. I turned the anger into something positive. I want to be able to help those going through the same thing I went through.

I spent a lot of time looking at things to try to heal. Meditation, therapy, exercise, music, and quotes. I was trying to find answers to questions that I probably will never know. One quote that has helped me through tough times is

“Remember how far you’ve come, not just how far you have to go. You are not where you want to be, but neither are you where you used to be. “

And that to me means, I may not be through my grief/healing journey. But I have come a long way from where I once was. Slowly I am making progress. And one day things wont seem so hard.

I hope this quote can help others going through difficult times. The loss of anyone is hard. But especially when it’s a child. They have all their lives ahead of them. And by losing them we lose getting to be apart of their lives.

If anyone ever needs someone to talk to, you can email me directly at  angelmommy2304@gmail.com

I am also part of a program who helps others heal. http://www.mymiscarriagematters.com/joinbecome-a-friend.html

Join and become a friend and our group of women will help you through your pain.

J.

One in four.

Did you know one in four women will experience a miscarriage?

 

The loss of a child is something no one ever thinks about. Well, not until it’s too late. Had anyone told me I would lose both of my children before I was pregnant I wouldn’t have believed them. But it happened. And I had no idea what I was going to do. I was a newlywed when I got pregnant with my son. Everything in my life seemed perfect. Until I found out I was bleeding. two trips to the emergency room and then my baby boy was gone. I felt completely shattered. Everything was starting to fall apart. I became paranoid, confused, and full of rage. My husband (who was grieving in his own way) Couldn’t seem to understand why I couldn’t get out of bed for the next couple of weeks. We were living in a new town far away from both of our families. I felt completely alone. and when you are grieving the loss of your child that is the worst feeling. I couldnt understand why everyone looked at me like I was crazy for being upset. All I heard from everyone was “It happened for a reason” “You’re so young, just wait a while and try again” Those sayings only made my rage burn hotter.

And then to go through it all over again a year later. And to loose everything including my child. I just couldn’t handle it.

Getting back to my point. I felt like I had no one to help me thru such a difficult time. There were no support groups that i knew of. The therapist I was going to was a man with no children. So couldnt talk to him. Our children were “Too hard for him” to talk about with my husband. And family just didn’t know what to say. I had to work at it on my own. Granted I made quite a few mistakes. By no means do I have all the answers. Everyone has to find their own path when going down this hard, unbearable journey.

But I want anyone who is suffering from the loss of a child to know that you are not alone. There is someone you can talk to. I am here to listen, or give advice, or just be someone you can vent to. I will be an open book for you to learn from my mistakes so maybe your road wont be as hard. This is not something any women should have to deal with on their own help.

 

Anytime you feel like talking. Or have questions, or ANYTHING at all! Feel free to email me at    Angelmommy2304@gmail.com